Love and other Dumb Things

The Siren has struck again, my friends.  Her victims have no idea what they're in for.  She feels nothing, sees you falling, watches you embrace her, lets your hands linger on her waist, grin quietly in her direction revealing your teeth while she sits with a tight lipped smile.  Arms crossed, eyes lowered, exuding pheromones (her quiet song).  Mark my words, boy:  You're in over your head.
The Siren will make you think you want her, but after a few weeks, something changes; her song wears off, leaving you with a bad feeling in your gut that makes you want to leave her.  Sucked you dry and leaves nothing but an awkward "well, ok" in the fray.
Two known victims are making the advance (a record number for one instance), battling with one another for the spot in her cold, unwelcoming heart.

You know what, the Siren is tired.  She's fed up, frustrated, and unloving.  You should try again in a couple of weeks.  She doesn't have time or energy to put into your pursuits.  She doesn't want to hook up or commit or cuddle, she just wants some space and some friendship.  Surely, you can give her that?

The Siren apologizes for the inconvenience this causes you, but when she feels numb, stressed, tired, and hurt, the last thing she needs to worry about are the brave souls paddling toward the shore, blinded by the song.

Love may be beautiful and know no bounds, but it is also dumb to do so.  You realize that once you fall for her, there is nothing keeping you there but a siren, and until her wings are clipped, she'll continue her path of seduction and destruction, ending up hopelessly alone.

So trapped and so free,
Singing on and on,
Happy to be a caged bird
in demon arms.

I'm not gonna do it!

Wow, geez, it's been awhile.  I have my reasons...involving four hour rehearsals six nights a week for one of the most amazing productions I've ever been a part of.  However, this production of The Tempest is asking me to do something extremely difficult.  I knew it from the start of Tempest Camp that it was an obstacle I'd have to overcome...and that is...

Not.  Smiling.

You would be surprised at just how hard that is for me.  There are three instances where I am not supposed to smile, where the attention is directly on me, and I slip.  The first two are places I can manage (I think), all I have to do is relax my jaw and think about starving children (I don't mean this to be politically incorrect, it actually depresses me enough sometimes to suppress a smile).  The third time, however, is insanely hard.  My character has to fight off another character, using all of my strength, I have to push one of my good friends off stage.
Let me tell you, it's hard for me to make the distinction between his character and his actual person.  When I'm physically invested in something like pushing a guy off stage and acting pissed off and upset, the last thing I'm thinking about is my face.  And the whole time, I have this reflexive smile on my face.
I tried to pass it off like it's in my genes.  Both me and my dad have the tendency to grimace when we are working on something and we get these really toothy grins.  My friend has been trying to help me by randomly coming up to me and pushing on me and trying to get me to fight him, but I can't take it seriously, I can't separate character from reality in that.
The director mentioned to me after I brought my problem to him that when I dance, I have a very neutral but intense face.  Maybe I just have to think of the scene as choreography.  If my friend and I can somehow choreograph it so that I feel more like I'm dancing, then I can try and bring more of my character into it and actually fight him off...
Without smiling.

I'm a smiley person.  I'm the one who should be nicknamed "Smiley," not some 17 year old has-been country singer's daughter.  *cough* Anyway.  My natural impulse is to smile, unless I'm really, truly, and honestly disgusted with someone.

Stupid smiling reflex.  People learn to override gag reflexes...Why can't I override my smiling reflex?