Headphones

I like people to think that when I wear headphones I’m actually listening to something.  It gives me the ability to listen in on their most private conversations without being afraid of judgment.  People are much less guarded when they think nobody is listening. 

 I don't mean it in any sort of negative way, there's this uncomfortableness that everyone carries around with them that's counterproductive.  Sometimes, a complete stranger is the best confession source.  

When I wear headphones, I'm rarely listening to anything.  Usually, I just want to be left alone, listening to my own thoughts, the white noise of the dance studio below my dorm, room mates typing out messages on Skype or the scratch and wiggle of a pen on paper.  The soothing noise of everyday life.  I wish that was something we recorded and mass-produced and sold.  The sound of productiveness.  Ah...

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we wore headphones all the time, not plugged into anything, but concealing the plug in our pockets.  Would we start to hear music in our heads and tune into our internal mp3 players?  I know I do that quite a lot.  Part of me really enjoys listening to life happen all around me, standing separate from it, but observing it.  The addition of sound into the mundane tasks, like taking notes for a class I don't get credit for...

In other news, I forgot to mention that I got my little sketchbook/notebook.  Omitting the leather bound notebook, I just covered this tiny sketchbook's cover in duct tape and I'm using it for multiple purposes.  Like... meditating on a word until its meaning is muddled.

You should try it sometime.