23 Hours

It's 1 in the morning, and I'm awake blogging.  Stupid, really, since I know that these entries go unnoticed.  In a way, it's actually good I think, this way, if someone ever DOES read this shit, it's coming from an honest place.
In approximately 23 hours, 2011 will be upon us, and I'm so ready to wash away 2010.   I'm ready to let go of a lot that has happened to me, ready to move on from the things holding me back.  I'm going to try to make some resolutions, starting with the ones I posted on Facebook earlier this week.

1. Wear more button down shirts: I've discovered that I like this style, and because I have a really long neck, so the high collar actually looks really good on me.  They're also extremely comfortable and can be dressed up or down, which is perfect for college.

2. Laugh Outrageously at least once a day: This is something I definitely didn't do this past year.  I had a few rough days where laughing seemed impossible.  In the past few months at school, I've made friends who know how to laugh, even when things get tough, and it has made all the difference.  I love all of you guys, new friends and old.

3. Find excuses to wear fancy clothing: I say, instigate Fancy Friday all semester long!  It feels good to get gussied up once in awhile, and it doesn't hurt your self confidence at all!

4. (this one is especially important to me) Stop giving a damn about the past.  It certainly doesn't give a damn about you: this one comes from a bitter place.  I have the habit of becoming attached emotionally to things in a short period of time, namely people.  I made some attachments this year that I thought were good, but only ended up hurting me, and I have been running around with this open emotional wound that is getting old.  I accept that this particular situation is obliterated, and I am pressing on.  You will no longer hold me back.  You said it yourself: there are a million guys who are better than you.  I know that for a fact. 


5. Got boobs? This is for the women, both flat and full, LOVE YOUR BOOBS, NO  MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE!!! Here's a little hint, once a man has your bra off, he won't care how much cleavage you were showing, or the cup size, or how much padding you have, he'll only care that your boobs are on display. And he likes it.  Personally, I indulged in this by purchasing a brand spankin' new bra! And it's pretty! and it makes my cleavage look DAMN HOT.

6. My feet are not prima-ballerina's feet, love them anyway: For the dancers with feet that don't point as far as they want, or feet without arches, know that my feet are horrid.  I have wrestled with the undancerness of my feet for the past five years, and it has resulted in nothing but overstretched achilles tendons and plantar fasciitis.  Trust me, it's not worth it.  You can be a beautiful dancer without high arches or flexible ankles.  If you have a short achilles tendon, embrace it! Your plie might be small, but your jumps are fantastic!

7. Learn to love my legs: I have bowed legs and tibial torsion.  And nobody knows what the hell that is.  Nobody cares.  Why should I?

8. Find interesting ways to do mundane tasks: whether it's walking to class or brushing my hair, Even thinking about unicorns might help some.

9. Get out of my comfort zone: Part of this comes from self esteem.  Believe it or not, I'm not as confident as I appear to be.  I have my own stigmas and what not that probably cause more problems than they should.  This is the backbone for a lot of these resolutions.

10. Perform more music: I missed singing last semester.  I missed playing my guitar and singing and writing songs.  I'm not going to let that get away from me again.

11. Old habits die hard, but some must die: I don't want to change everything about me, but there are a few tics in my personality that probably shouldn't be present.  Nobody really knows which of my quirks actually annoy me, I'm keeping that a secret.  Hopefully the transition away from them will be unnoticable in the long run.

12. Write more letters: Good old-fashioned snail-mail is fun to get and fun to write!

13. Sketch and draw: Little known fact about me, I used to be really passionate about sketching, drawing, and sculpting.  Even if I can't sculpt at school, I want to get back into sketching.

14. I'm leather bound! Well, not exactly, but I want to purchase a really nice leather cover journal without lines.  I've always wanted a leather journal to keep my ideas together.  I have notebooks and a laptop, but it's not classy or inspiring.  and I don't carry my laptop around everywhere.  I want to write something every day in this leather journal.  I'll get it after the first of the year when the stores allow it.

15. Glam it up: Photoshoots.  Got it?

This is all I can think of for now, but this will surely be updated.  If I'm still blogging this time next year, I'll see just how much I've done...