Several times a week, a good friend of mine tells me she thinks I am drop dead gorgeous. I have had many of my chicky-friends (female friends) tell me they think I am beautiful, pretty, etc. Rarely do I hear that from my male friends. I've had boyfriends and potentials tell me on occasion that I am beautiful (two of them referred to me as sexy, which is rare, usually I get "adorable" from guys, which pisses me off a little), but I don't think any of my male friends will talk about the attractiveness of a girl unless they are interested in hooking up with her.
What kind of a line are they afraid to cross? So many women out there don't believe in just how beautiful they are because they never hear it from the men in their lives. We women are trained by one another from a young age to be nurturing and loving and to tell everyone the things they want to hear. Often, this gets us into a bit of trouble because we usually don't know when to shut up, which can be a very bad thing. Anyhow, my question goes out to all of the men:
Why don't you just tell us if you think we look good? It's not "Gay" to tell someone of either gender that their appearance is pleasing, it's a compliment. Even if you're not interested in us as more than friends or acquaintances, just tell us.
Women, especially women like me (I have recently begun wondering if I am an alien...more on that later) enjoy flattery. When we're comfortable with ourselves, it shows.
Men ask, why do women wear makeup when we look better without it?
Well guys, here's why I wear makeup even though I am aware of the fact that I am "pretty"
I wear it because it gives me confidence. I know that when you're looking at me (and not at my breasts, eh hem...) and talking to me, you will likely be looking into my eyes. I play up my eyes using various eyeshadows, eyeliners, and mascara to make my eyes more interesting than my breasts. I'd prefer if you were listening to me rather than listening to my cleavage.
I wear makeup to be mysterious, playful, and yes, sometimes sexy.
But let me tell you, there are the lucky men who've seen me without a drop of makeup on, a horribly uneven tan, a retainer, glasses, pimples all over my face, looking like an average woman, not a goddess (that men often see us as), and they haven't cared.
To the Men: We women are not Goddesses, we are mere mortals. We're fragile, but we will not break when handled, but to keep us in working order, we need a healthy dose of self love, which is easily facilitated by a simple compliment.
Why I am an Alien:
To explain my earlier comment about my thoughts of being an Alien, if you ever get the chance to meet me and talk to me in person, I have been described as one of the most interesting people you will ever meet.
My closest friend tells me that I was born in the wrong decade, either thirty years too late or thirty years too early. I'm a lot like my parents, I'm bohemian, laid back, a little forgetful, a bit disorganized, a little too silly for my age, but I like to talk about the origin of human beings, astrology, dreams, dead white guy literature, radical ideas about gender, love, and the future. I'm an alien because although I am beautiful and interesting...
I'm afraid of love.
It's something I'm having a hard time understanding why. I complain to my close friends that they all have someone special in their lives while I am stuck in a gray area between being over someone, and wanting something new, and yet I am terrified that the "wrong person" will come along and toss me around while making me think they're amazing. It bothers me that I'm love-paranoid when love is what I am looking for. I've been close to love before, but never been in it. I know how to flirt, but I check myself that I don't send the wrong signs, and I end up being called "cute and adorable, like a fluffy kitten," rather than a "sex kitten" which would sometimes be nice to hear.
Perhaps it's just me still growing through an awkward phase where I am still not fully loving of myself. I've accepted myself, but that's only half of it. You can accept who you are without loving it. That's the next step I have to take.
And I guess that means more questions...
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